It pains me to update sometimes. I’m getting a bit bored with the current music scene…is there not any new music coming out to maintain my interest? I cannot listen to Kylie’s X album forever, you realize. I just want more (MOAR?). Yes, more.

Anyway, Britney’s in court. Well, her father is, anyway. And the lawyers she employed during her crazy fits over the past year. They’re fighting her dad, and her dad is fighting the legitimacy of the lawyers. I say throw them all out and hire an entirely independent conservator, free of ties with paparazzi organizations or otherwise. A lofty desire, I know. God, her boobs are gigantic in that shot. That’s what you were thinking. I heard you think it.

Her current lawyer, second cousin of Bah-bra Streisand, has released her financial report, which features Britney’s worth as only $40M. Not only that, but she appears to be involved with some financial issues with Jive and the IRS. As a personal aside, I’d like to exclusively reveal that it’s more than possible that her remaining income can be attributed solely to myself.

The Commish has doubts about the other kind of Streisand, claiming that Britney hired him during her less-than-lucid state of mind, making his appearance somewhat unfounded. And the media circus marches on!

In related news, Sam Lutfi continues to be a fame-seeking slice of lard.

Korean super-mega-star BoA has pulled a fast one on us all. Instead of following through with her whole “collegiate” goal, the songstress has decided to go ahead and continue with the whole “pop star” thing. Her Japanese album, THE FACE, is due to be released later this month. Today however, the album leaked in full. Not very common for Asian releases…A review will be posted later today. The cover is included above this post. She’s a stone fox, as you can tell. Just look at that apathetic expression. She doesn’t even give a damn if the lip gloss goes on straight. But rest assured, that lip gloss is indeed poppin’.

More confounding than her leaked Japanese career is her now confirmed English equivalent. According to BOAjjang, BoA has been secretly preparing for an upcoming English album, and will complete recording in March. In May, specific details for an English record label will be released by her group in Korea, SM Entertainment.

If Rain and SE7EN are the only representations of “breaking” into America, then I fear dearly for my sweet lady’s future. I’m also bracing myself to hear her “improved” English pronunciation skills. Yes, I heard “KEY OF HEART (English Version)”. And you know what? I thought it was the Korean Version. Think about it.

Godspeed, Kwon BoA.

According to Daily Mirror newspaper, Madonna’s new video will feature the Queen of Pop whipping her men into shape once again. Timba and Timber, according to the news byte, will be the shuddering slaves of dominating Pimp M as she attempts to save the world within the video. After all, the song’s title is “4 Minutes To Save The World.” What lies ahead? Probably some S&M ball and chains, killer high heels, and more Madonnaesque stretching and vogueing.

The cover has been released for Utada’s upcoming album, HEART STATION.

Luckily, it looks nothing like her other album covers:

45 seconds of the upcoming PV for the song “HEART STATION” have been released on the song’s special website, seen here. She has apparently gotten onto the wrong train. Luckily, the over sized headphones distract her from the fact that everyone has been turned into a blackened statue.

Music releases have been a bit sparse this past few days, so I do apologize for the lack of updates. I’ve gotten wind of a new artist that I’m premiering on the site today. Her name is SATOMI’, and she is a Japanese singer. In J-Pop fashion, she has altered her name by adding some unnecessary capital letters and an extra dash of punctuation. I don’t know why they do it, either.

Anyway, according to her Myspace, Satomi was born in 1989, making her a mere 19 years old. Despite the age difference, the girl’s got some jazzy vocals rivaling Crystal Kay, and the lower octaves of Eri Nobuchika (who has been shelved from the J-Pop industry, despite having the largest vocal range of any Japanese artist I’ve heard yet.) Not only that, but the beats in her latest release could be straight off the recording sessions of Namie Amuro. Stomping hand-clap verses melting into sweeping, horn-blaring choruses…the song is a dance-funk treat.

DL: SATOMI’ – Innumerable Answers

SATOMI’ is a fairly new artist, so I assume I’ll be watching for further releases from her. She will be releasing “Innumerable answers” digitally on January 30. Her upcoming album is expected to be released late March.