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Rebecca Black Could Never: Jenna Rose – “My Jeans”

While the Internet may be abuzz (or rather, atweet) with all the excitement surrounding Ark Music Factory recording artist Rebecca Black‘s “Friday,” the critically acclaimed club banger dedicated to the day before Saturday (after which comes Sunday, according to reports), there’s a whole new tween jam worth shaking and crying about: Jenna Rose‘s “My Jeans.”

The evocative robot-pop number–which somehow flew under my radar since October ’10 until only just now–finds 12-year-old pop starlet Jenna Rose (not to be confused with the Satan-possessed Emily Rose) breathlessly recalling the experience of owning a brand pair of jeans, only to then be swagga jacked by a triflin’ wannabe (and no doubt, a hater).

Hannah Montana‘s wearing my jeans / Ashley Tisdale‘s wearing my jeans / Keke Palmer’s wearing my jeans!” Jelegenda chants, her enthusiastic enunciation recalling a young Judy Garland.

Yet despite obstacles, Rose overcomes her adversity in a moment of shimmering resilience during the bridge: “I bet she’s mad, ’cause I look fab / HA HA HA HA…jack my swag!” Rose damningly proclaims, no doubt a not-so-subtle slam against fellow rising pop contemporary, Willow Smith. Or maybe Noah Cyrus. I’m not entirely sure yet.

In the end, is Jenna Rose’s “My Jeans” the anthem of a generation, a la John Lennon‘s “Imagine” or Kim Zolciak‘s “Google Me”?

To that, I have but four words to say to Lady Gaga and all her “Born This Way” dogma:

WATCH YOUR WIG, BITCH.

(But for real, all of these new tween anthems are legitimately terrifying…yet somehow still better than Kidz Bop.)