THE IMPOSSIBLE HAS JUST BEEN DONE.

Queen Legendtina, Almighty Ruler of Flopnomore and Susan Lucci of the Recording Industry, has just done the unthinkable and clawed her way back to the tippity-top of the Billboard Hot 100 this week with her blink-and-you-miss-it cameo on Maroon 5‘s “Moves Like Jagger”–her first #1 in over a DECADE.

From Billboard:

The song marks Maroon 5′s second Hot 100 No. 1. The band previously reigned for three weeks in 2007 with “Makes Me Wonder.” For Aguilera, the return to the chart’s apex ends an even greater hiatus. She had last ruled alongside Lil’ Kim, Mya and P!nk on “Lady Marmalade” for five weeks in 2001. “Jagger” is Aguilera’s fifth Hot 100 No. 1. She banked three leaders from her self-titled debut album in 1999-2000: “Genie in a Bottle,” “What a Girl Wants” and “Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You).”

Yes, you read that correctly:

CHRISTINA MARIA LEGENDTINA FLOPTINA GERMANOTTA FRITTATA AGUILERA
IS #1 ON THE BILLBOARD HOT 100 THIS WEEK.

LET US NOT FORGET WHO OWNS THE THRONE.

Yesterday afternoon, Kelly Clarkson premiered “Mr. Know It All,” the gorgeous lead single from her upcoming fifth studio album Stronger.

She also took the time to answer fan questions on her trusty iPad (watch in full!), revealing loads of new info about her new single, some dish on the new album, and future tour plans.

But before we get into all that, can we just do this for a moment: Okay. I’ve always loved and adored the Clarkson with all my heart, but SERIOUSLY. Is she not the cutest little goober in this video?! It amazes me how grounded she’s remains to this day! “I hope this isn’t boring.” “Wait, I wasn’t supposed to read that.” “This is awkward.” No pretense. No diva ‘tude. Just realness. She also says the word “sassy.” A lot. I MEAN…OBSESSED!

But back to the main event, Kelly revealed a wealth of details, which I’ll now boil down to some snazzy bullet points:

• “Mr. Know It All” was selected as the first single because it’s “very different” from her usual lead singles and “super sassy and sets up the album nicely.”
• The album is named Stronger because the album’s about empowerment and, once again, about “being sassy.”
• The name Stronger comes from upcoming album track “What Doesn’t Kill You,” which is one of the (very amazing) songs that has already leaked.
• The Stronger tour will start in the new year, possibly around January. Rehearsals have already begun.
• She describes the album as “vocally different” and captures her live voice better than previous records.
• Her favorite song she’s ever recorded will be featured on Stronger called “You Love Me.” As she described the track: “It sounds like it’s a happy song, but…you know me. I put that dark twist on it.” She wrote the song in 15 minutes.
• She’d love to do a duet with Adele and Miranda Lambert. (Dear God, please let Kelladele happen.)
• The album tracklisting is not finalized yet.
• She just shot the video for “Mr. Know It All” in Nashville with Justin Francis. “The video is very different from anything I’ve done,” she explained.
• “Walk Away” is her favorite song to perform live. “I feel like I’m Annie Lennox when I’m singing that.”
• She personally wrote half of Stronger. She doesn’t like the idea of writing a full album by herself, so half of the album was written by band members and new collaborators.
• She’s done a few songs with Chris Daughtry, but they’ve never made it to an album (yet). “We’re just waiting for that perfect song.” They recorded a song for Stronger, but it didn’t match the tone of the rest of the album.
• She counts Prince, Tina Turner, Sheryl Crow as influences on Stronger, as well as some country influence.
• One of the duets she recorded made the album. She wouldn’t say who, but it’s a female affiliated with American Idol.
• Already Famous is just a fun side project for Kelly and her back-up singers Jill and Kate, but they don’t know what they’re doing with the songs they’ve recorded yet.

And that was that.

Ladies and gentlemen, Kelly Clarkson: Not only one of the world’s most talented artists, but one of the few true role models in the music industry today.

I LOVE HER SO MUCH I CANNOT EVEN FEEL MY FACE RIGHT NOW.

Meet Chronz, T-Roy and Martika (I’ll allow a moment to marinate on each those names individually), the members of one of Polydor’s newest girl groups, RD, AKA Ruff Diamondz. Again…marinate on that.

As my shady sister/bottom buddy Prophet Blog pointed out a few weeks ago, these chicks are the spitting image of the original incarnation of the Sugababes. Like…that redhead (Chronz) is literally Siobhan Donaghy. It’s a little unsettling as a Suga fan, but also kind of nice in a nostalgic sort in a way.

But even if they’ve got the Suga look down, the girls of RD are bringing an entirely different sound to the table.

“Got Me Burnin’” is RD’s infectious newest single due out on September 25, a mostly minimal UK garage/drum ‘n’ bass fest that plays like something straight off of Katy B‘s On A Mission. (Makes sense, as the track was produced by Katy B producer Geenius!) “Something like a fever got me burnin’ / It’s concerning, baby,” the girls croon above the song’s quick-tripping beat.

Ahead of their debut, the girls released a 9-track mixtape on their website, a multi-genre collection that includes features from Roll Deep and UK rapper Wretch 32 across R&B slow-jams (“I Know U Want Me”), swagga-riffic brag tracks (“Superstar Shades”) and unusual grime-infused pop hybrids (“Do It Like Me”).

While their songs have a tendency of getting a bit too mucked up in grime-y grittiness, the girls of RD still command a pretty soulful sound beneath those dirrty beats, especially when navigating the slower R&B numbers. Or is that just my Sugababes 1.0 nostalgia shining through once again?

Anyway, it’ll be interesting to see what musical styling RD actually serves up when their debut drops later this year. Let’s just hope the line-up doesn’t switch up by then!

“Got Me Burnin’” will be released on September 25. (iTunes)

Oh, that silly ol’ Frankmusik!

The UK electro-pop crooner just took time out of his busy schedule to send over this sweet little MuuMuse shout-out. Looks like we caught the cutie right in the middle of a massage session from some beary hairy men, all while sipping on a fine glass of red. Now ain’t that just the sweetest? I sure hope it was a deep muscle treatment!

Frankmusik – Do It In The AM (Album Mashup) by Interscope Records

Speaking of, Mr. Frank recently unleashed a megamix from his upcoming second studio album Do It In The AM, due out on September 27. Current favorites include “No I.D. (feat. Colette Carr)” (which, funnily enough, is the next single from the album!), “Wrecking Ball” and “Cut Me Down”–but you’ll need to go ahead and have a listen for yourselves from the stream above.

And if you’d like more (MOAH!) of Frankmusik, the singer is just about to kick off a nationwide tour alongside legendary pop duo Erasure on the Tomorrow’s World Tour (along with some club stops along the way!) beginning tomorrow in Tampa.

So go on and have a blast, Mr. Musik! Just don’t get in too much trouble while you’re out on the road…

Do It In The AM will be released on September 27. (iTunes)

After almost five straight years of setbacks and delays due to label fuckery, management reshuffling and everything else in between, the grand return of JoJo has officially begun.

“Disaster” is the official lead single from the singer’s upcoming third studio album Jumping Trains, due out later this year on Interscope Records.

While the brilliant Can’t Take That Away From Me–a free 11-track mixtape JoJo released in 2010–found the young singer exploring new terrain within chilly electronica grooves and soulful, church-ready slow jams, “Disaster” brings listeners back to the signature pop-rock sound that first propelled the Massachusetts-born pop starlet into the spotlight well over seven years ago.

And for those of you who fell hard from her very first scathing kiss-off track, “Leave (Get Out),” you’re in luck: JoJo’s still pissed.

“‘Cause the walls burned up and our love fell down / And it turned into whatever, now we’re saying never,” JoJo angrily cries out on top of the song’s massive chorus. The crashing drums, dramatic strings and triumphantly marching mega-beat all invoke some of the greatest, most devastating pop-rock mid-tempo ballads in recent memory, including Jordin Sparks‘ “Battlefield” and yes, even a bit of her own 2006 smash, “Too Little, Too Late.”

But apart from a return to the power pop production of her past hits, “Disaster” signals JoJo’s growth as both a vocalist and an individual: Proof lies no further than the song’s snarling, teeth-gritting bridge, which bites harder and burns deeper than just about anything she’s released to date. (“You shot the bullet, you shot the bullet that killed me!”)

It’s clear that the 20-year-old songstress has done a whole lot of growing up over the past few years in her absence. And with such an amazing track in tow, it’s the perfect time for this incredibly talented singer/songwriter to reclaim her spot on the radio waves and show us what she’s got once again.

Welcome back, JoJo. You’ve been sorely missed.

“Disaster” will be released on September 6. (iTunes)

OH MAH GODNEY!

It doesn’t get any more official than this: Britney herself just confirmed to MTV’s James Montgomery backstage at the 2011 VMA’s that “Criminal” will be the fourth single off of Femme Fatale!

MTV: Any plans for another video, another single?
Britney: Yes, mm-hmm.
MTV: And what will that be?”
B: I don’t know if I’m at liberty to tell…but, um, I will anyway! It’s ‘Criminal.’
MTV: Can you talk about what that song means to you?
B: The song is, you know–when I first heard it, it’s really different and there’s nothing I’ve heard like this before. I really wanted to deliver this song, and I was thinking of a really cool concept for the video just to make it interesting.
MTV: So, do you have the cool concept ready to go?
B: Yes, you’ll have to see.

I guess Team Spears really did listen to fans, because “Criminal” was the resounding winner from Britney’s Facebook fan poll!

While I would have loved to see this song come out at the very end of the campaign (please don’t let this be the end!), I’m still absolutely thrilled about the selection. “Criminal” is one of my favorite moments from Femme Fatale–it’s an absolutely gorgeous moment that showcases a slightly more mature side of the Holy Spearit. While it may not sound like anything on the radio right now, I’m still so excited to see it get a proper release!

I just can’t even begin to process the idea of a video for “Criminal”: All that I ask is that it involves Godney dressed as a fanciful maiden while riding a majestic steed. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!

2011: YEAR OF THE SPEARS.

Femme Fatale was released on March 29. (iTunes)

Cady Groves – “This Little Girl”

Ladies and gentleman: She may look sweet, but do not cross Miss Cady Groves–that is, unless you want a bullet square between the eyes.

The 21-year-old Oklahoma-bred songstress first got her start as a MySpace act, posting her acoustic demos on her page and responding to her ever-growing fan base on a daily basis. The attention led to the release of two EP’s: 2009′s A Month of Sundays and The Life of a Pirate, released in March of 2010.

After signing with RCA Records last year, Groves is now prepping her first major label release: “This Little Girl.”

The song, which first premiered on Idolator two weeks ago, was co-penned by Groves, Sean Douglas and Tom Meredith and produced by Swedish pop whiz Kristian Lundin, the man behind such iconic pop classics as Celine Dion‘s “That’s The Way It Is,” *NSYNC‘s “Bye Bye Bye,” and one of Britney‘s very best, “Born To Make You Happy.”

“I checked your phone ’cause it was beeping / Are you alone? I know you’re creeping,” the vengeful singer reveals on top of the stabbing strings of the song’s opening verse. And then in comes the chorus; a crunchy, genius explosion of pulsating pop as Groves warns the good-for-nothing guy playing games with her heart: “You’re not the only one walking ’round with a loaded gun!”

With enough lyrical vitriol to have Kelly Clarkson shining up her rifle and just the right kind of synth-pop pulsations in between the song’s punchy production to set Ellie Goulding‘s heart a-flutter, this little girl is definitely capable of murder–not to mention a ridiculously promising career. Just don’t stand in her way!

“This Little Girl” is currently available for free from Groves’ official website.

Thanks to Muuser Calen C. for the heads up on this track!

Beysus is having a Beybehyonce!

That was the buzz swirling ’round MTV black’s carpet all night hours before Beyonce took to the stage following Britney‘s tribute/extended intro to Beyonce’s performance.

Sure enough, Beyonce strutted onto the stage to deliver a killer ’70′s-inspired performance of “Love on Top,” one of the many feel-good vintage ditties off of her latest studio album 4. Backed by six equally glittering gals, the legendary vocalist gave a pitch-perfect performance of the song, working the entirety of the space-age VMA stage while beaming the entire time.

But the best part came at the song’s end: As the final note of the song faded away, Bey suddenly dropped the microphone and–in a split-second–unfastened her sequined jacket to reveal her now ever-so-slightly extended stomach, proudly rubbing the baby bump while smiling and nodding knowingly as the crowd howled in approval. A mayjah moment! (Oddly enough, this is the same finishing move I like to deliver upon eating an entire sleeve of Oreos, though I don’t think it’s had nearly the same effect as far as acquiring suitors/baby-makers.)

Congratulations on a stellar performance, Bey! And even more, congratulations for the Destiny’s Child on the way!