STOP WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE DOING BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE MATTERS TODAY.

Princess Rihanna‘s “We Found Love” has just premiered!

From the press release:

International superstar Rihanna will commandeer the worldwide launch of her brand new single “We Found Love” feat. Calvin Harris, today September 22nd at 9:00amEST, utilizing her Facebook page and radio simultaneously. Rihanna is the #1 female artist on Facebook with over 45 million fans (http://www.facebook.com/rihanna). The global launch of “We Found Love” kicks off the new “Rihanna: UNLOCKED” campaign, leading up to the release of her upcoming sixth Def Jam studio album on November 21st (title to be announced in the weeks ahead). “We Found Love,” sets the stage for Rihanna’s forthcoming new album, the eagerly anticipated follow-up to LOUD (released November 2010), an industry phenomenon that is multi-platinum worldwide, with global sales of nearly 8 million.

“We Found Love” was released on September 22. (iTunes)

We did it Navy! We found LOVE!

After enlisting the Navy to “like” on Facebook and tweet like cray this morning, Team RiRi has made good on their promise and Ri-leased the lyrics to Rihanna’s new single, “We Found Love” this afternoon!

And they go a lil’ somethin’ like this…

Oh, this gone be rill good.

According to the singer herself, the Calvin Harris-produced song will officially premiere tomorrow.

From Calvin Harris:

Excited for people to hear the new @rihanna song, i can tell u she sounds like an #angel !

EDIT: She just tweeted the single cover!

The very first thing it reminds me of? Village Voice photographer Amy Arbus‘ photo of Madonna strolling through St. Marks in 1983. Iconic. I’m so excited!

For those who might not have loved the wailing, bananas o’clock frenzy of 17-year-old songstress Cher Lloyd‘s noisy UK debut, “Swagger Jagger,” here’s your breath of fresh air: “With Ur Love,” featuring Mike Posner.

The Almighty Lloyd’s easy breezy mid-tempo finds the young singer catching feelings and getting all swoon-y on top of a “What’s My Name?”/”Rude Boy”-reminiscent groove crafted by legendary pop producer, Max Martin. That’s not to say that Martin’s straight up lifting from RiRi’s ceaselessly amazing 2010 singles (or swagger jagging, if you will), but the similarities are certainly apparent in the song’s bossy drum beats.

“I’m fighting / I don’t want to like it, but you know I like it,” the former X Factor UK finalist sings.

The vocal effect used throughout is, well, interesting–it sounds as though Lloyd’s been stuffed into a fishbowl in space–yet her signature swagga-rific flow remains intact, pausing only for a brief hormone-raging verse by Posner (which gets a little uncomfortable, given that the girl he’s singing with is, like, 12 years old.) “3rd date, you’re looking at me funny / You got a hard shell, but the middle’s so yummy,” he sweetly croons. Erm.

Despite some severe criticism, the young singer’s love-it-or-hate-it debut single managed to skyrocket straight to #1 upon its release in late July. With this super duper radio-friendly groove serving as the official follow-up, Miss Lloyd’s re-ascent to the top of the UK Singles Chart seems all but imminent.

“With Ur Love (feat. Mike Posner)” will be released on October 30. (iTunes UK)

STOP YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE.

Sometimes, in life, things happen that are so incredible they actually defy explanation. This happened to me last weekend at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in New York, when I was brought face-to-face with rising popstrel, Dr. Luke protege, and Britney Spears collaborator Sabi, who was DJing at the Teen Vogue Haute Spot.

Sabi is best known for, among other things, making everyone in the world say “Who?” when her guest spot on Femme Fatale was announced, elevating Cobra Starship’s “You Make Me Feel” into a compulsively listenable track with her dope-ass hook, and releasing a truly superb pop-dubstep hybrid buzz track called “Wild Heart,” which you should definitely listen to if you haven’t already.

She is also responsible for literally the greatest lyric in the Britney Spears oeuvre: Her audacious pronouncement during her rap on “Drop Dead Beautiful” that a nearby gentleman has her “steaming like a pot full of vegetables.”

In what is possibly the most important news item you will read this year, I can reveal to MuuMuse readers excluusively here that Sabi not only is prone to steaming like a pot full of vegetables, but also steams vegetables of her very own. “I do steam my vegetables,” she confirmed. (It should be noted that Sabi was an incredibly good sport about the whole thing, and also looked super cute in polka dots and leather shorts. Bold, Sabi. Very bold indeed.)

When I told her that my initial intent was to bring a steaming pot full of vegetables for her, she laughed hard and said, “I would have died.” She has requested that on our next meeting, she be greeted with vegetables. (Direct quote: “Next time you see me, bring a pot full of vegetables.” Hopefully this will be included in her rider going forward.)

Sabi also talked about recording her upcoming album, due out in early 2012, which she reports will be “urban-rooted, mixed in with pop [and] alternative.” The album, she says, will also feature more of the dubstep influences that we heard in “Wild Heart”: “When I heard some of the dubstep that’s coming from the UK, I was like, ‘Oh my God, that’s crazy, can I do something like that?’ On my album, I’ve been honing in on my sound — and I might do a feature that’s another dubstep record.”

Expect the album to include more collaborations with Dr. Luke, who Sabi says is “so skilled… and the nicest guy ever,” as well as tracks with Benny Blanco, Toby Gad, and Diplo (!). Her only criterium, she says, is that “they bring me hotness.”

You’re welcome.

Thanks to Alex Goldschmidt for providing moral support, and also for promising Sabi that next time we saw her we would bring her “a bushel of vegetables from the farmers’ market.”

Sam Lansky is a contributor to MuuMuse.

STOP. BREATHING.

DJ Komori – Sound of Love (feat. Cassie)

Yes, it’s true: A new Cassie song has just come into existence: “Sound Of Love,” released today on iTunes Japan.

Produced by Japanese DJ/producer DJ Komori, “Sound Of Love” is one of Cassie’s most sparkling, bubbly pop-filled offerings to date, reminiscent of fellow R&B songstress Mya‘s über-kawaii Japanese single released in January: “Fabulous Life.” (In fact, DJ Komori also produced Mya’s “Alive,” another one of Mya’s Japanese singles released in September of 2010.)

“Boy, you make my heart bah-dum-bah-bum, bah-dum-bah-bum,” Cassie sweetly croons above hazy, summery synthesizers and joyous electro beats, not unlike the chorus of Nicki Minaj‘s radio smash, “Superbass.”

Sure, “Sound of Love” isn’t quite the slick, icy electro-R&B that we’re used to Miss Ventura serving us on the regular, but it’s still a delightfully infectious, super cute pop number by one of the baddest pop princesses in the game.

Dance the night away!

“Sound of Love” was released on September 21. (iTunes Japan)

Oh, the Sugababes.

After months of promo, the UK girl group formally known as the best selling group of the 21st century (and now mostly for its ever-rotating roster) has decided to give away their latest single “Freedom” as a free download on Amazon beginning this week.

From their Facebook:

As a thank you to their fans the Sugababes are offering their new single, ‘Freedom’ as a free download via Amazon. Head to the link below to download your copy of ‘Freedom’ available from September 25th

The free download comes (presumably) after the track failed to pick up any traction whatsoever amongst British audiences (according to Compare My Radio, the track has only been spun once by BBC Radio 1 and once by BBC Radio 2)–not to mention an increasing apathy by listeners and/or fans.

Jade Ewen came to the group’s defense on Twitter hours ago after a surge of Twitter rumors last night claimed her as the latest girl to ditch the group, tweeting:

Wow! So who started this rumour guys?? The only place this Sugababe is going is to the studio with the girls to work on our new album!

Meanwhile, the pre-order link for “Freedom” on iTunes UK no longer works.

Sigh…

Illuminati Princess Rihanna has just unveiled the brand new logo for her upcoming era on Twitter this evening.

As we know from the past, the Rated R “R” logo was cold and metallic. The LOUD “R” logo was warm and colorful. And this one?

Well, it’s an “R” made out of words. That much is clear, but I still can’t quite pick out the exact words/sentences…I see “Talk” thrown into the mix several times. Looks a bit…academic!

Maybe she’s just throwing shade at Beyonce‘s “Schoolin’ Life.” Or perhaps she’s going to bust out a pair of thick-rimmed Lisa Loeb glasses and start speak-singing poetry for the entire record (“And have miles to go before I sleep…BOOM CUNT!!!). OR MAYBE SHE WANTS TO PLAY TEACHER AND SPANK US ALL WITH A RULER!!!

Who knows? It’s Rihanna, ho…therefore it is objectively amazing.

WORDS, THEY CUT LIKE A KNIFE, CUT INTO MY LIFE…

LOUD was released in November of 2010. (iTunes)

Fact: Everything Swedish is better than you.

As Sweden’s pop ambassador to the interwebz (a title I made up for myself just now), it’s my job to highlight the very best pop music coming out of Sweden. (This is an easy job, given that Swedish pop music is always good.) In my ongoing series, Amazing Things I’m Listening to From Sweden, I’m bringing you the dopest Scandinavian sounds out there. Just don’t blame me when you end up spending your paycheck renting a proxy server in Stockholm so you can shop on Swedish iTunes. (Trust me — the exchange rate does not work in our favor.)

Velvet – Love Struck

Velvet’s music is, as her name suggests, plush, decadent, and just a little trashy. But her new single, “Love Struck,” packs the euphoric punch of one of those eight-minute ravey dance remixes, crammed into three densely packed minutes of pounding pop goodness. The opening synths evoke Ke$ha, but the chorus is all Velvet: “Feel me now/Boy, you’ve got me love struck,” she sings, a driving house beat underpinning crashing synths. While perhaps not as impeccable as the V Factory track by the same name (any V Factory fans in the house? No? Okay, glad we talked about it), it’s a more than worthy effort from the dancefloor diva.

Deportees – Islands & Shores

Deportees fall on the indier end of the Swedish pop spectrum, but as with their contemporaries — like The Perishers, Shout Out Louds, or even José González — their music is a more refined, genteel rock than what we tend to hear stateside. Packing a solid pop pedigree (drummer Thomas Hedlund toured with Phoenix, and bandmate Anders Stenberg is Lykke Li’s guitarist), “Islands & Shores” is a miniature epic of love and heartbreak. “I figured out why some days feel like ages/I figured out why some rooms feel like cages,” frontman Peder Stenberg sings as the song builds with layer after layer of guitars, drums, and strings, reaching an orchestral climax and then collapsing into dissonance. I can’t deny that “Islands & Shores” has a little bit of the Springsteenian heartland rock crunch of The Gaslight Anthem — which I normally find quite odious — yet the poppy Scandinavian backbeat marries the two forms marvelously. A sad, beautiful song for fall.

Loreen – Sober

Dance chanteuse Loreen doesn’t have the established track record of some of her better-known counterparts, but her 2012 Melodifestivalen entry, “My Heart Is Refusing Me,” was a superb nugget of moody dance-pop that certainly put her on my radar. (The fact that it was covered by perennial favorite Andreas Vijk, whose acoustic cover is as impossibly gorgeous and perfect as he is, only adds to its appeal.) Her newest single, “Sober,” continues in the grand tradition of great songs with that title — see Kelly Clarkson and P!nk for more — with an irresistible melody and crisp house production. “I know this moment will be over/Tomorrow comes and we are sober,” Loreen belts over glistening synths. Um, Agnes who?

Caotico – Brains Out [feat. Tove Styrke]

Caotico and Tove Styrke are both virtually unknown in the English-speaking world, but this track has already received a ton of attention from English bloggers — and it’s no surprise, given that it’s modern, infectious, and hilariously scabrous. Vocals from rising underground pop band Caotico set the scene — “The air was filled with the scent of burned rubber/The sky was dark for the first time this summer” before Swedish Idol hottie Tove Styrke jumps in to make her demands: “Fuck my brains out/Like you did last night!” In most contexts, this chorus would just be arbitrarily crass — but here, paired with an effervescent electropop beat and Tove’s squeaky vocals, it’s nothing short of adorable.

Wolf Box – Mirror Wisdom

You remember Isabel Guzman, right? The Swedish sprite who released utterly sublime dance-pop songs like “Lovesong” and “Mysterious” back in 2007, then disappeared completely? (Okay, maybe it’s just me.) Either way, she’s back, with the artistic (i.e., inexplicable) new band name “Wolf Box” and a serious (i.e., brunette) new hairstyle. Her first two songs, though, are nothing short of perfection. “One for the Radio” is ambient pop, humming and thrumming before launching into a big, melodically charged chorus, but “Mirror Wisdom” is piano-driven and gloomy, with a grinding chorus that wouldn’t sound out of place on the latest Lykke Li record. I’m calling it what it is: A a long-overdue return for a little-heard popstar who never got a chance to realize her true potential.

Sam Lansky is a contributor to MuuMuse.