A Brief Message From Legendtina About “Pretty Girls”

by Bradley Stern

Hello, fans. Forgive me. I’ve not had a single moment until now to sit down and finally SAY SOMETHING I’M GIVING UP ON YOU, what with the unprecedented success of my cameo as country icon Jade St. John on Nashville, the ongoing season of The Voice and my forthcoming return to music, which is shaping up to be the most advanced, genre-defying record in… Read the full article


Legendtina, Queen Of Country, Makes ACM Awards Relevant With Performance Of #Vers Cowboy Sex Anthem, “Shotgun”

by Bradley Stern

LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (Dallas, TX) — GRAMMY® Award-winning singer, undisputed Queen Of Country and winner of People Magazine‘s Most Likely To Be The Only Worthwhile Part Of Watching This Season Of Nashville Legendtina Christina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera performed during this evening’s ACM Awards, which most critics are now dubbing the All Christina Music Awards [citation… Read the full article


Legendtina Claims The Country Crown With ‘Nashville’ Anthem, “The Real Thing”

by Bradley Stern

LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (Nashville, TN) — GRAMMY® Award-winning chanteuse, Woman-scented beacon of femininity and the forward-thinking Bionic icon singlehandedly responsible for making Sia relevant Christina Aguilera — born Legendtina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera — has officially gone country. To accompany her upcoming Nashville debut on Wednesday in the entirely autobiographical role of Queen Of Pop Jade St. John, the “Ven Comigo (Solamente Tú)” chanteuse has… Read the full article


Legendtina Will Release Two Songs From ‘Nashville’ In April

by Bradley Stern

LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (Nashville, TN) —GRAMMY® Award-winning chanteuse, former employee of “asshole” Mickey Mouse and Starbucks Lover Legendtina “Christina” Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera will release not one, but two new songs this month for the upcoming season of Nashville. Having spent the past few months alternating between the red swivel throne on The Voice and memorizing her lines as Jade St. John, a… Read the full article


Legendtina Teases Photos From The Set Of ‘Nashville’ (Plus, Read The First Page Of The Script!)

by Bradley Stern

LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (Los Angeles, CA) — GRAMMY® Award-winning chanteuse, New York City’s Most Valuable Ambassador and charitable Starbucks Cup Signer Nashvilletina Blackhairguilera is currently filming her highly anticipated guest run on the ABC TV series, Nashville. The icon will reportedly be playing the role of Jade St. John, a “chart-topping pop princess who yearns to unleash her inner twang on a… Read the full article


Legendtina Impersonates Britney, Cher And Shakira On ‘The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon’

by Bradley Stern

< LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (New York, NY) — GRAMMY® Award winning chanteuse, honorary New York City Ambassador and founding foremother of the Caviar Ratchet movement Legendtina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera has just demonstrated her true vocal verSAY!tility this evening. After blessing fans and Z-list music bloggers with free coffee last week, the “Nasty Naughty Boy” diva… Read the full article


It Happened To Me: I Ran To A Starbucks To Try To Meet Christina Aguilera And All I Found Was A Cup

by Bradley Stern

It’s a harsh 18 degrees in this great City of New York this evening, a city that was honored last night in a show-stopping song and dance spectacular by Christina Aguilera, born Legendtina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera, at the NBA All-Star Game — a prophetic turn of events, as it were. There I sat in… Read the full article


Legendtina Puts The “Star” In NBA All-Star Game With Show-Stopping Tribute To New York City

by Bradley Stern

LEGENDTINA NEWS NETWORK (New York NY) — GRAMMY® Award-winning chanteuse, hat-juggling mothertainer and forthcoming ABC Family Executive Producer-Legend Legendtina Maria Nina Desnudate Goduilera has effectively revitalized the music industry and reinvigorated the American spirit with a show-stopping performance at tonight’s NBA All-Star Game, which historians are now hailing as the single-most iconic tribute to liberty, freedom… Read the full article