Today, our glorious and all-knowing Illuminati Navy Commander Princess RiRi has finally unleashed her sixth studio album, Talk That Talk. IT’S A CELEBRATION, BITCHES! Now which one of you baked the birthday cake?

If you didn’t know all this already…um, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! Check out the MuuMuse review right now! I’m drunk on love–with the album, that is! Just kidding. I’m also drunk right now.

That’s why I want to share the love with YOU, ’cause you da one that I dream about all da-a-ay!

MuuMuse is proud to be giving away 5 COPIES of the standard edition of Talk That Talk.

Want to enter to win? Watch n’ learn: Just follow me on Twitter (@MuuMuse) and show me your cockiness (I love it) by tweeting me with the following phrase:

I love it, I love it, I love it when you tweet it @MuuMuse! #TalkThatTalk

Five winners will be randomly selected and notified on Monday, November 28. US entries only, please!

Go on: Do ya thang and enter now! Who knows? You might find love in a hopeless place. Good luck and farewell!

Talk That Talk was released on November 21. (iTunes)

Does any other pop star’s album art talk the talk quite like Rihanna‘s?

Two years ago, the black and gray sheen and jagged metal “R” logo perfectly exemplified the grim, post-apocalyptic noir of Rihanna’s 2009 masterpice Rated R, as the singer menacingly peered out from behind her hand while suited in futuristic space gear, looking like Grace Jones beamed in from the year 3000.

Just a year later in 2010, Rihanna smoldered on the cover of LOUD with her fire engine red coif; her eyes closed and lips pouted with pristine 1970′s disco queen poise (where’s Andy Warhol when you need him?). Accordingly, the collection was largely colored by its StarGate-produced dance floor throbbers (“Only Girl (In The World),” “S&M”) and and airy Island-infused mid-tempo jams (“What’s My Name?” “Man Down”).

With Talk That Talk, her sixth studio album released on November 21, Rihanna has once again rih-invented, this time veering closer toward the Rated R menace, albeit not completely: She’s stripped away the metallic sheen of Rated R and given it a decidedly more street vibe.

Buttoned up in a sleeveless camouflage blouse, she appears sweaty and disheveled, her hair mussed as she grips her forehead. With a hungry glare and a dagger-sharp tongue firmly planted in the corner of her lips, she utterly oozes sex. But this isn’t a candle-lit dinner at the Four Seasons followed by a rose pedal-strewn romp in bed. This is a rough, rowdy back-alley FUCK on break during your mid-day work shift.

And that, in a nutshell, is the essence of Talk That Talk.

Read more…

Looks like Florence Welch is having some trouble shaking the devil off her back.

Earlier today, Florence + The Machine premiered the jaw-dropping new video for “No Light, No Light,” the third single from her second studio album Ceremonials, which was (fittingly) released on Halloween.

Voodoo, creepy church boys straight out of The Omen and distinctly Illuminati/Satanic-friendly undertones? Yep–looks like the work of our beloved Florence to me!

Watch as Ms. Welch is endlessly chased down by a dark-sided (and blue-skinned) demon creature, getting poked and prodded in rag-doll form until finally succumbing and taking a tumble from great heights. The cinematography is absolutely stunning, and Welch looks gorgeous playing the witchy songstress she so naturally is.

The perfect visual for a most perfect song? Methinks yes.

Oh, and another thing: I know I haven’t made a peep about Ceremonials, but trust me: I think it’s thoroughly brilliant. Epic. In fact, it’s a little too epic for me to handle. Every time I listen, I have to walk away for a while and collect myself. There’s just too much epic! I don’t know how, when or if I’m ever going to properly review that record–but it’s fucking ACE.

Ceremonials was released on October 31. (iTunes)

Yesterday, Hunger TV–the digital counterpart to photographer Rankin‘s new fashion/lifestyle publication Hunger Magazine, brought us a vamp-tastic video for Sky Ferreira‘s “Traces.”

Today: Hunger TV presents a new feature called “Tear It Up,” starring the one and only Cheryl Cole.

Posing to the tune of Alpines‘ “Drive (Akira Kiteshi Remix),” the scientifically proven Perfect Being gets positively smoldering for Rankin’s high fashion clip, whipping her sweat-drenched hair and pouting seductively.

It’s all a very greased-up “I’m A Slave 4 U” aesthetic–therefore, it is entirely amazing. Plus, she looks bangin’ as hell. (Well, duh.) Nice work, Chezza!

21111172143 by YardieGoals

Tonight, Illuminati Princess Navy Commander Rihanna took to the stage of US X Factor to perform her latest #1 single, the Calvin Harris-produced “We Found Love,” for the very first time on TV. And how did she fare? Well…

IT WAS AMAZING.

Replicating the look and feel of the ’90′s grunge-inspired cornfield rave scene from the “We Found Love” video, the Bajan beauty was looking all sorts of sexy in a big ol’ puffy bomber jacket, a plaid top and some ripped jeans revealing a fuck-me-o’clock garter belt underneath. Mmm-MMM, RiRi!

Ri’s live rendition was as heart-racing and euphoric as the accompanying track, filled with flashing neon signs, fireworks shooting from every direction, and some of the most explosive energy I’ve ever witnessed coming from the Bajan sensation. She was absolutely flailing all over that stage!

And apart from the on-stage moshing during those epic post-chorus beat breakdowns, there was even some actual choreography on Rihanna’s part–she was stomping the shit outta that stage! Like, why is this the first time we’re seeing Ri really cut a rug? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LI-I-I-I-I-IFE?!

The only major downside to the performance was that the backing track was far too loud, resulting in a weird and distracting clash between her live vocals and the actual song. Still, she trudged on like a champ–and seemingly had the time of her fucking life doing so.

Now I’ve seen my fair share of RiRi slagging over the past few weeks since the Talk That Talk era, so let me just clarify my position: I don’t care that she’s not the greatest singer. I don’t care that she’s not the greatest dancer. Rihanna is fucking FUN. Everything about her–from her personality, to her performances, to her music–is so thoroughly enjoyable and carefree. I adore her to bits and pieces. G4L ’til I die, bitches!

VIVA LA RIRI!

“We Found Love” was released on September 22. (iTunes)

Sky Ferreira has just unleashed a brand new video for “Traces,” the Neon Hitch/Colin Munroe co-penned track taken from her debut EP released back in March of this year, AS IF!.

Wait–WHAT?! No, I–I KNOW! I had no idea she was shooting one either!

Naturally, the clip’s all shades of brilliant: Produced by Hunger TV, the video offshoot of Rankin‘s newly unveiled bi-annual fashion/lifestyle magazine called Hunger Magazine (which features Ferreira on the first cover), the video captures the dirty blonde teen dynamo writhing and rolling around on a couch and sulking in front of a window, looking fashionably disheveled and endlessly flaw-free.

Oh, and she’s wearing vampire teeth. Why? Um, WHY NOT? God. Stop asking such stupid questions.

EDIT: Sky tweeted earlier today that this clip is just a feature for Hunger Magazine, not an official video, so…GET IT RIGHT.

Flawless Indie-Pop Princess remains Flawless Indie-Pop Princess TBQH.

AS IF! was released on March 22. (iTunes)

It’s Gaga interrupted, y’all!

Above is a preview of the prelude of the actual video for “Marry The Night.” The actual prelude–inspired by Beethoven‘s “Sonata Pathétique”–will be 7:33.675 long which, according to my calculations, means that the actual “Marry The Night” video will have an approximate run time of 353 years.

I was a little busy reinterpreting my past as a glamorous lie in my present to focus on what’s actually happening (although I’ve got the oddest craving for a mint), but I do know that ass and Gummy bears were involved–two of my primary interests in life.

“Marry The Night” will be released in November. (iTunes)

It’s official: Science has proven Cheryl Cole to be a perfect and flawless human being.

According to a study conducted by Dr. David Holmes of Manchester Metropolitan University’s psychology department, there’s an exact formula for the perfect smile, based largely around facial shape and “smile technique.”

From the Daily Mail:

Dr Holmes found that different muscles are used – particularly around the eyes – in sincere smiles, and these help to create a smile people find attractive. People who can ‘smile with their eyes’ are better smilers – but it’s a difficult effect to control.

Of course, we already knew this thanks to a woman named Tyra Banks, who taught us all the importance of smizing in every situation. But now, we have a scientific grasp (thanks to an amusing chart) of the Girls Aloud star’s true flaw-free nature.

He said: ‘Cheryl Cole is a great example of the perfect smile. It’s no coincidence that she has been such a success and become the nation’s sweetheart.

‘Her smile helps her come over as genuine, attractive, and engaging.’

If the teeth and lips are in good condition, with a fleshy ‘cupid’s bow’, people respond even more strongly, he said.

So there you have it: Stone cold science. Irrefutable proof. Cheryl Cole is objectively perfect (her smile, anyway), and your fave’s fleshy cupid’s bow could quite literally never.