A couple different releases from very different artists with absolutely nothing in common!

Danity Kane‘s album was strapped with an exclusive bonus track for its release in Target stores, and it plays like the chipper sequel to “Bad Girl” with the warmly tinged dance hall sounds of “Lights Out”. It’s also a lot of sass in one track. If the title wasn’t clear, they’re sick of your shit. Winner already, yes?

DL: Danity Kane – Make Me Sick

And, finally…New Imogen Heap! At last! It’s “Not Now, But Soon”, the long awaited song to accompany the latest Heroes soundtrack. It’s moody, layered, and atmospheric as usual. A purely Immi creation, though you already knew that. I’d even call the opening beat sequence a bit Björky.

DL: Imogen Heap – Not Now, But Soon

It’s just not funny anymore. My humorous little “hypothesis” has gone from being a silly observation to stone cold fact. I fear I’ve jinxed the album cover process forever!

Pop Divas + Bad Font = Album Covers.

Case in point, hereby solidifying my thought into Law:

Don’t you ladies see?! You’re taking proper photographs and all…now decorate them conservatively! Wipe off those gradient effects, center your fonts to the left or right, and keep the focus on YOU…COME ON NOW.

Let’s tally it all up so far:

Source: ONTD

It’s a disease, friends, and we need to work together to undo the carnage. Let us band together and bow our heads in mourning of these truly trying times and keep our spirits high.

*Please do not allow the title of “pop diva” be tarnished with the mention of Ms. Simpson. She is by no means an actual “pop diva.” Her album’s inclusion is for emphasis only.

Looks like I found my new ringtone….this one is, no joke, on fire. Full of siren-like electro squeaks and a harder bass, the Jason Nevins Radio Mix of “Break The Ice” will get you feeling hot as ice in no time. Grab this one while it’s around, it’s nice and fresh!

EDIT: And if you since you want to be like me, go ahead and download the ringer that I’m using for my phone, constructed from this very song! It’s in the download section below.

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DL: Britney Spears – Break The Ice (Jason Nevins Radio Mix)
DL: Break The Ice Ringtone

So it’s been a full week since the leak of Danity‘s fabulous Welcome to the Dollhouse, and I refrained from posting a complete review until I allowed myself time to hear the album several times over. I ended up liking some tracks more than I did during the track-by-track leak last week, but the overall rating of the album remains the same.

I’ve continuously said it, but this is a strong release. “Sucka For Love”, which I included in the download section below, is a truly shimmering moment. It’s like getting sucked into a warm tunnel of glitter (Mariah Carey‘s vagina). Even “Ecstasy” and “Lights Out” shine for me, though they weren’t initial favorites at first; they’ve got such unforgettable melodies above drippy bass beats…I love it! The phrasing is really key on these songs, as well as the entire album; it’s nearly impossible not to fall in love with the girl’s stuttering, stops, and sexified grunts. The CD may not be full of five-scale riffs, but its undeniably slippery with talent. And those are just the non-dance oriented tracks!

“Damaged” remains a jewel of pulsating perfection, and seems to get richer with age. I still can’t get over the first bit of each verse. Aubrey’s such a st-st-stutterer and it’s so, so appetizing. “2 Of You” is the unexpected garage-rock-lite tune breaks the Danity trip-hop mold, and sounds so much better on a booming stereo system. The hand-claps are all shades of brilliant here: it’s just smart pop! “Pretty Boy” grows steadily. If I’m not wrong, it feels more polished than the initial leak during the first single competition. And of course there’s “Strip Tease”, the Pussycat Dolls-esque racy romp through cabaret beats and a perfect electro stinger during the chorus. I just love it when Shannon(?) breaks out the “I know you like it, the way I do it private” bit in the first verse. It’s sex.

All of the tracks share a similar warm synth sound, making the album a well meshed compilation of beautiful electro-hop. Don’t wait around for some vocal exercises on this album, because they’re not here. Just bounce-happy melodies and seriously sharp pop bars. I remain confident in my ranking. This is top notch, Bad Boy produced or otherwise.

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DL: Danity Kane – Sucka For Love
DL: Danity Kane – 2 Of You
DL: Danity Kane – Strip Tease
DL: Danity Kane – Bad Girl ft. Missy Elliot

First pictures of the How I Met Your Mother spot are now surfacing online. She looks beautiful!

EDIT: Now check out the sneak peek video! She manages to mention sex and shopping in just nineteen seconds! Brilliant!